these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
