I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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