I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
