There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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