and my herpes radar will keep us safe
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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