I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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