So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
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