Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Matt is trying to convince me that we have a deal where if I show him my tits he won't do cocaine. Apparently we shook hands on it?
Randomize
