you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
