Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
He chucked my pickle at the bouncer. Fucker, I wanted that.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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