in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Randomize
