I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
