I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
