Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
My boob is missing a layer of skin
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Randomize
