fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
Randomize
