I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
