Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
