Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
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