I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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