East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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