I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I fake pass out to avoid hookups sometimes. Last night I fake slept on my bathroom floor for like 2 hours before the guy left.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
