I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
