We need to rekindle our bromance
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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