I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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