i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
