why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
