Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
