Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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