Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
