i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
Randomize
