dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Randomize
