oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
I think my vagina is haunted
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Randomize
