the new term for farting is butt boxing.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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