she was so not down for the gang bang
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
