Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
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