you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Randomize
