Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
