He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
Randomize
