mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Mass text: You have all failed me. How have the people I loved so much let me go so long in life without ever eating a McRib sandwich?!
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
