i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Two words: nipple clamps
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