I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
Randomize
