ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
Randomize
