bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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