My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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