i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
