If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
This house was built for laser tag.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Randomize
