And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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