Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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