I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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