Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
